Resilience
The Art of Recovery — Life is full of ups and downs. Just when you think you have hit bottom and have made your way through. Something is waiting for you to pull you down harder. Challenges will often be harder than the one you have experienced ever before. I have had heartbreaks, fooled, cheated, left alone, faced failures, and rejected. Every experience had felt like a lightning strike. You can’t be prepared for all but can be resilient for most.
- This summer, I sit down on a sunny afternoon to think about what makes browsing through hard times in life possible. What are the patterns and challenges.
- This note is also a reflection at one of my good reads — Option B. The author ‘Lady Sandberg’ shares the stages of going through the most significant grief of her life — losing her beloved husband.
Blissfully, I have not experienced such pain in my life. But, with the utter fragility of human life, life may not spare me of hardships in the years to come. So what is the art of resilience….HERE IS MY PRAGMATIC VERSION
The art is to have a shoulder to CRY
You plan to lean in, and you finally understand who remains when you need them the most. I had made some best friends when I was going through the worst of times. And I have lost some.
“…..I have also been equally sympathetic to people. Some people are bad at communicating what they feel. How to mean you care than just verbally conveying ‘it’s going to be ok’ is a tough skill.…..”
The art is to GRIEVE
It is important to grieve. Learn how to pour your heart out, cry so hard that you get dark circles and prominent wrinkles on your forehead. And then go to the beauty store sort it out. Trust me, they have products that will take care of you ;).
Sanskrit growing up was a subject I never excelled in. I started crying before all my Sanskrit papers. Imagine the paranoia of my parents when they discovered this trend. Anyways years later I felt this was my tiny resilience to beat my frightful energy and force it out crying until I was much more confident to go to the examination hall. So yes, grieve!
The art is to START AFRESH
Come up with a new plan. Resilience also comes with a change of plans and hopes. You may lose your plans and hope until you make new plans and new hopes. There is no fun in starting from scratch but never loose the spirit of starting from scratch.
I had a plan with one of my friends to write a book together; she moved, and we parted. That book will never be written, but I am working on a new plan to restart that endeavor.
The art is to TAKE ADVANTAGE
It’s the time to try out new things. Things you have never tried before. I started out by playing out the ukulele but I am back to square one where I realize my failure in playing string instruments throughout my life.
- Travel — Travel to a place you have never been to.
- Volunteer — Try to reach out to someone whose problems in life are different than yours. Life is different when you have an empty belly, are half-fed and have no shelter.
- Habits and Directions — Change what you have been doing and what you are used to. Change how you place things in your room. Change the favorite jacket you have been wearing, change the way you cook your fav dish etc.(You know your list!)
Resilience is also the time you can use to cultivate new habits, friends, and thoughts.
Corollary
We might argue why do we need to change based circumstances, and you want to take on the life challenge of letting things remain as usual. It’s a smart idea for those who are brave that way. But for many of us who are sensitive, sentimental, and often too emotional; I say, be resilient and maybe use this as an opportunity that life bestows on you.
I have been a very resilient person all my life. My art has been the art of smiling. I finish hardest conversations with a big smile, and my biggest foes often leave the table with optimism ;).
