Confessions of an Indian visiting India after living abroad

instances extracted from my personal American diary

I have been staying abroad for a few years now. I am not a foreign citizen and don’t wish to be one. I don’t have a foreign accent and when it comes to following news ndtv.com is the first thing I type in. Living abroad has made me part of one culture while belonging to another. I would often hear my NRI counterparts discussing (aka complaining) about these differences in both the countries or my Indian counterparts complaining about the NRI bragging ;).

Every year I visit my family, some changes I realize as soon as I calibrate my longitude to the Indian subcontinent -

The Warm Indian Welcome

The first thing I notice starts at the port of entry — the airport. Whereas the West has merchandised this gesture with a range of items from bouquets, cards, chocolates for the welcome. Nothing beats the genuine warm Indian welcome. Whereas I drag my heavy luggage across US airports as soon as you land in India you get a free trolley. Yes, US charges the trolleys.

Service

Service is negligent, and if it happens, it comes at an enormous cost. Parties have the theme of taking what you want and eat what you want. I desperately enjoy being served food in India and the great Indian tradition of forceful feeding :). Buffet systems are standard in the US, and if you are a normal human being, you won’t end up on those fancy red carpet dinners or fancy restaurants now and then. No one serves, if they do they double up the prices. Personally, this theme suits to host a party in my studio apartment.

Tipping

Tips are considered helpful and a genuine way to thank the service you used. While the first few months abroad were spent converting how much tip I paid to the rupee. Now, I am habituated to add a certain percentage to my bill. In the India, I grew up, tips were rare. When I visit India now, I am baffled to decide whether to pay someone beyond their charges.

Dollars

I left India in 2012. Somehow I am surprised by the depreciating value of a 100 rupee note. 1 Dollar equals ~66.27 Indian rupees. The converted value has a vast difference. While that makes me relatively wealthy but I cannot buy the world to myself. When in India, I have heard non-pragmatic expectations from many around just because of my American tag.

I rose my eyebrows on the 2K dessert I was served at a restaurant in Mumbai and probably will still do.

Privacy

I live in a studio apartment in downtown Seattle, and nobody would intrude even when I am breathless. Living by myself and privacy comes naturally to me, after living abroad. Back in India, I find it hard to understand what is not an intrusion of privacy. The home keeper walking through the door to clean up or my mom staring at me when I am talking on my phone \\_O_//.

Accent

Language is more about ways of framing clear sentences to express your ideas and emotions in a local structure. People find my neutral Indian accent surprising after living abroad for a few years now. I don’t have a natural accent though I can imitate one ;).

One of the biggest mistake many people traveling abroad do — picking up the accent, over the language. Try picking up phrases/words! makes you more local.

Small fat things

The Bathroom — Toilet Paper is something I miss in most households. Cleanliness is associated with water in the east whereas the west relies on keeping washrooms dry. Not belittling any sanitary habits but this change is challenging ;).

Seat Belt — Not wearing a seat belt is scary as it is fun. Indian roads sometimes gives me the liberty to drive without a seat belt or be in the passenger seat.

High-Speed Internet —Browsing the internet is a fundamental right. That’s what it feels like when you work for a tech firm. I am not from a high tech city and belong to the north-east of India. Many things don’t come here as it comes to other parts of India. 2G is still a thing in some parts I visit here and access to internet is a bigger deal than options of 2G/3G/4G.

The Indian Brands — The West dwells in giving the consumer numerous options to shop, and I have adopted a lot with trial and error. While the Indian brands still remain to be my favorite. I love Britannia, Patanjali, Cello and Global Desi.

The Perspectives

From the old
a) The ask for an American opinion
I meet people from different cultures in this cosmopolitan western culture and interact with Americans regularly. I do a lot of things that make me a part of America, but I didn’t grow up in an American premise. It makes my outlook restricted. Precisely why, when asked for an American opinion; I can’t give one because I don’t have one.

I don’t have an American opinion; I have ‘my opinion.’

b) The big fat American impression
The American perception among the older generation is filled with a lot of misconceptions and wrong ideas of a developed nation. America is a developed world, but as I have stressed in my other essays, it’s not the ideal world. I often spend my energy trying to convince folks that job satisfaction is an issue, people face financial strains, there are car break-ins and racial injustice needs to be discussed. Mind it! these are a few amongst many. The millennials have mastered America and know the ground reality, which makes my conversations with my friends much easy.

From the Peers

Dear IT friends. Yes, you know a lot about the states. For Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Cognizant, Cisco, Facebook and mnc’s have their offices in India as in the States. You celebrate Halloween and St. Patricks as I do. You get a weekend as many other jobs in India don’t. You have an Apple in your hand as I do. but..

I often face the attitude of people imitating America more than I have adopted America living here, in the past few years. It’s good to know the smart Indian minds are aware of global scenarios. I wonder if my experience of dealing with the grass-root American survival techniques is pointless?

In Conclusion

I am asked how different or how similar is it, to live in other parts of the world. I never compare where I live presently to where I have lived before. Be it my hometowns, states, communities or my old homes. But being a researcher my brain works to observe these differences.

You never forget your old home and you always make a new one.

I ruminate over this thought, if living abroad, makes you less authentic or you still retain your cultural authenticity? I realize I have changed, because its mandatory. I have become unfamiliar to things so familiar. I have adopted new things in life; and am split with culture, habits and behavior.

I believe this is a way of life, one that many floating millennials of my generation have adopted. Being optimistic, I believe its the way we craft our lives, the good, the bad and the ugly.

I dreamt of flying. Seeing things foreign, wild and beautiful. I set out on a journey.

Saw, and see things foreign, wild and beautiful. On the way I discovered myself often to wonder if ‘I was’ was lost in translation.